Our Unfinished Story
As told by Nik Archer
Felicity
I didn’t want to turn 25 in five days. I didn’t feel like a 25-year-old. I felt like I was still a teenager. By this age, I should have started out at what would have been the beginning of my successful career, maybe had a husband or at least a boyfriend, and plans for children of my own. But no, I was stuck in this mess of a life that made me hate my existence.
“Felicity, how would you like your hair?” Cynthia, my oldest friend – slash – affordable stylist, said. I’d finished my evening class at the community centre an hour ago and needed Cynthia’s help to get ready for Saturday. She came here to try out different styles as I only had two days left to get myself sorted for the party Father was throwing.
“I don’t mind.” I said, lost in a thought. What would have happened if I had never been kidnapped? The last 10 years of my life wouldn’t have happened, that’s what. I wouldn’t have met Nolan Stalker and I wouldn’t have fallen in love with a robot, and I would have probably been with Mr Needy Scumbag or someone similar.
“We can do it up. This looks good on you.” Cynthia said and I trusted her judgement. I knew Cynthia Conwy from primary school. She was always passionate about fashion and being my friend meant she had access to an endless supply of latest clothes, shoes, handbags and whatever else she needed to experiment with, which usually was me! Cynthia moonlighted as a hairdresser and stylist whilst teaching fashion studies at school. She wanted to become a fashion designer but then realised that teaching was far more fulfilling.
Unlike my other school friends who disappeared when I no longer splashed Father’s money around, Cynthia and I managed to stay in touch despite both of our busy schedules. I’d met a few of her secondary school colleagues and enjoyed their company far more than that of my inherited so-called friends from Father’s social circle. The only other real girlfriend of ours was Rebecca Lowe, daughter of Mr Jacob Lowe – Father’s closest friend and business partner.
“Will you send the invite to your colleagues? I would love for them to join. I don’t want gifts of any kind. If they want to donate in place, please ask for them to donate to Baker Connections Foundation, but there is no expectation, at all. The details are on the invites. Plus ones for each attendee as well.” I said. My birthday party was being held at Baker Manor, like every year. This year, Father had arranged for it to be the Saturday before my birthday. That meant that I could spend my actual birthday sulking all alone in my flat, which Nolan Stalker was about to vacate in four days. I saw less of him over the last two days and he kept to his room rather than watch TV with me in the evenings.
“Where’s Nolan? I haven’t seen him today!” Cynthia said, pinning up my hair from the left to the right and vice versa.
“He’s moving out. Apparently.” I muttered under my breath, unsure of myself and what that even meant.
Once Cynthia was done with me, I walked with her to the underground station. The community centre was in Finsbury Park so I needed to get the tube back home anyway. I knew Stalker was around, but I hadn’t seen him after this morning. I usually always stayed on the Piccadilly line when going from home to school and vice versa, but this morning I decided to take the Victoria line to Finsbury Park and change to the Piccadilly for the remaining stops to Cockfosters. Nolan gave me an earful when he caught up with me on the tube. He didn’t stay away on that leg of the commute, like he would normally have done. Instead, he pressed me up against the panel that screened the cab from the seats, with the full length, breadth and strength of his body, until we got to the last stop. It was hot seeing him become worked up, but for the rest of the day he kept a low profile and I missed out on a lot of teasing.
I hadn’t heard from Mr Handsome. Soon, I’d forget his real name. Which would be all the better. It wasn’t that I was caught up on him or anything, but the spoilt thing really got to me. I wasn’t spoilt and I needed him to know that. I had googled him this morning while waiting for the tube. Thank you, underground Wi-Fi. Apparently, Mr Handsome was divorced. His ex was smoking hot. I wondered why they split. There was nothing on the internet to disclose that information.
I made the intentional mistake of sending him a Whatsapp invite to the party at Baker Manor. He hadn’t responded. I wondered if he would reject me outright. But he hadn’t so far and ignoring my advances was not real rejection, in my opinion, otherwise I would have made sure Stalker was long gone.
I got out of the station and without a wasted minute, Nolan was hot on my tail again. With a few long strides, he caught up to me and started walking beside me. I stopped in my tracks. Why had he been so distant today?
“Are you alright?” He asked.
“No. I’m not.” I didn’t know what bothered me more, the fact that he was leaving or that he seemed alright with it.
“What’s wrong?” He looked me up and down trying to figure out for himself what had caused me to stop all of a sudden.
“Why are you leaving the flat?” I asked. There was no point invoking rule number four already. I’d wait to see what lies he had to tell first.
“Can we discuss this over dinner, Miss Baker? I’m starved.” Nolan said. This conversation was almost too perfect. He had to go and ruin it by saying Miss Baker.
“Am I nothing more than a job for you?” I asked, walking towards the Mayfair building.
“No, Miss Baker.” Nolan said, following my footsteps.
“Fine.” I would make him pay for that.
I had made a lasagne yesterday and decided to take it out of the fridge and have it for dinner. I put it in the oven and started to heat it. Nolan had disappeared into the guest bathroom. I went into my en-suite to shower. When I got out, I scrolled through my phone and stopped at a notification from Mr Declan Handsome Waters.
Declan: You never replied to my messages. Thought you didn’t want to know me.
Felicity: Messages?
Declan: From Tuesday night.
Felicity: My phone drowned and I had to get a replacement. No back-up! Sorry?! 🙂
Declan: Will this party be pretentious?
I smiled. If he was asking about the party now, I knew that he wasn’t rejecting me and he must have believed the reason I didn’t get his messages. He seemed curious and I was excited.
Felicity: It’s my father’s party, not mine. If you don’t like it, I have nothing to worry about. Coz neither do I.
Without being able to take a breath, I heard a ping.
Declan: I might come if you get a drink with me before 😉
Felicity: The party is this Saturday and it’s Thursday night!
Declan: There’s an entire day between Thursday and Saturday. Google it. It’s called Friday 😉
I laughed! Then heard a knock on my door. Nolan! “I’ll be out in a minute.” I said, bringing my attention back to Mr Handsome.
Felicity: What if I’m busy?
Declan: You’ll make time. I owe you for that drink, remember?
Felicity: Why would I make time if you owe me?
Declan: Because you wouldn’t be texting me right now if you didn’t want me.
Felicity: You think I want you?
Declan: I’ve already told you I want you.
Felicity: And?
Declan: I’ll make an exception for you. Tomorrow, same place. You decide the time.
Felicity: Exception?
Declan: Yes. I’ll come to the bar. AGAIN I don’t normally go to bars. So exception. For you 😉
Felicity: Fine. 7pm 🙂
Declan: Can’t wait. For our first proper date and then meeting your dad! 😛
Felicity: We’re not moving that fast!
Declan: We will. You’ll be married to me by the end of the month.
Declan Waters was really overconfident. I flashed back to the bar and remembered his smile. Oh, how I wanted to see that again. The men that stuck around in my life barely smiled. Declan’s smile was a sight for sore eyes and I felt like my eyes had been hurting for 10 years. But I knew I had to play it cool!
Felicity: If I like you enough the next step will be inviting you to my actual birthday party. Not the one my father is throwing.
Declan: And how do I make you like me?
Felicity: Lots of things. Start from this: guess when my actual birthday is without Googling.
I was smiling and laughing and feeling giddy inside. I hadn’t texted anyone like this in a long while. Everything I lacked in my life was nothing in comparison to the want I had for love. I had never been fortunate enough to find it. And whilst I pretended all of that was because I loved Nolan Stalker, I knew from the bottom of my heart that my love for him would never be reciprocated. Even through all the acting out and pointless dating, I hoped that one day I would accidentally meet someone who would become the one.
Stalker knocked on my door again. I was still in my towel but he’d seen me with less on. I pulled open my door and smiled. I got nothing in response.
“I believe the lasagne is ready, Miss Baker.” Nolan said.
“Yes, and you’re already in clothes. Can I get into mine, Mr Stalker?” I teased by pulling down my towel to my cleavage.
“Please do, Miss Baker.” Nolan turned and walked over to the dining table. “I’ll set the table. I believe you wanted to talk.”
I plugged my phone to the charger and started to get dressed in my pyjamas. Nolan had set everything out and sat waiting for me. When I got to the table, he shut his laptop and placed it on the empty seat beside him.
“Still working?” I asked. Nolan was always on his laptop or phone or whatever other gadget he was glued to for his job. He worked 24 hours a day. I really didn’t see him have a social life since starting to work for my father.
“You can say grace today, Miss Baker.” Nolan pressed his palms together, curled his fingers over and closed his eyes.
I let him ignore me because I knew the answer. I followed his lead. Taking a deep breath, I thought about what I wanted to say. “Thank you for this meal before us. Thank you for the oven that heated it. Thank you for the henchman sitting beside me. Thank you for rule number one and four.” I stayed silent for a minute and peeked through the bottom of my eye. Nolan remained still, in prayer, his eyes remained closed and not even the corner of his mouth twitched. I sighed and closed my eyes again. “Thank you for Declan Handsome Waters. Amen.”
“Amen.” Nolan said, unperturbed. We started eating our meal and Nolan looked at me as if I was going to repeat the question I asked earlier. No. He knew. There wasn’t a need to repeat it. “I know you want to know why I’m moving out of your flat.” He said many minutes later.
“Our flat.” I corrected him. It was still ours. That wasn’t going to change whatever he said next.
“I’m leaving.” Nolan said.
“I know. But why?” I asked.
“No, Miss Baker, I’m leaving.” Nolan said.
I looked at him, confused. My forehead had scrunched up and I could feel the muscles around my face tighten. I tried to understand, but when I couldn’t, I put my fork down. “Leaving?”
“Yes, Miss Baker. Within a few weeks, I’ll be moving to Scotland for an indefinite period of time.” Nolan didn’t seem affected by it and my heart sank. My chest felt empty and I pressed my hand against the ache between my breasts. He had to be lying, but I could read every line on his face and knew that he wasn’t. How could I go from being with Stalker for 10 years, to not being with him for God knows how long?
“No!” I couldn’t say anything else. What else would I even say?
“Miss Baker, I will make sure everything is in order. You’re not in any danger. You are and will remain safe. As far as the past seven years go, I can assure you that you were never in any real danger above and beyond that which any ordinary individual could encounter. Of the seven attempts made to abduct you within the first three years of my employment, all were thwarted. There were no further attempts since you started university. Mr Baker kept me on your detail despite my suggestions to disband the protection. The additional security agents were, and are, also unnecessary. You won’t have to put up with any security agents at such proximity anymore, but there will be someone in the area if the need arises. You will be unrestricted and free of all the rules that have thus far prevented you from living a fulfilled life.” Nolan Stalker said, as sure of himself as always.
“All the rules?” I breathed. I couldn’t accept what was going on.
“Yes, Miss Baker.”
“A fulfilled life?” I was sure the only fulfilment I could understand was Mr Nolan Stalker spending the rest of his days with me.
“Yes, Miss Baker.”
“And you’re leaving me?” My voice quivered at the realisation of what was happening. In one way, I was getting everything I wanted. I was getting back my life, my independence, my space. On the other hand, I was losing an irreplaceable part of me. I had built this fantasy life, where Mr Nolan Stalker was my world, and I was no longer capable of living without him.
“Yes, Miss Baker.”
“Forever?” I didn’t want it to be true. Please say no! Please, please, please, say no!
“Indefinitely, Miss Baker.”
“You don’t care, do you?” I pushed back my seat and stood up in haste. Nolan didn’t utter a word. He looked at me with sorry eyes, as though anything that would come out of his mouth would break me. Anger and frustration coursed through me. “You never cared about me, did you?” I clasped the fork in my hand tighter. Nolan stayed silent. His expression now blank. “You never loved me?”
Nothing. Silence. Emptiness.
I slung my fork at Nolan, who barely moved. It hit him on the side of his temple. His eyes shut and his face scrunched. Shit! What had I done? My racing heart stopped. I rounded the table to him and pressed my napkin against his head.
“Nolan, I’m… I’m… sorry. I didn’t. I…” I didn’t mean to hurt him. Not physically.
“It’s alright. I’m, alright.” Nolan stood up and stared at me with a look I didn’t recognise. “I’m sorry, Miss Baker. Maybe it would have been best if we hadn’t waited so long to give you back your freedom.”
“No. I don’t want freedom. I don’t want anything else. I want you!” I was desperate. I loved Nolan Stalker and I couldn’t accept that I meant nothing to him. He was completely ready to leave me forever and I was sure I would break the second he stepped foot out of this flat with his suitcase. I wrapped my arms around him with such ferocity, as if I would fall down to hell if he wasn’t there to hold on to.
“I’m sorry, Miss Baker, maybe it’s best if I leave now.” Nolan removed himself from my hold and walked into his room. I fell to the floor, shattered, inconsolable. I cried harder than I had on the day that my mother had died.
I woke up in my room with a concerned Nolan Stalker sitting on the floor adjacent to the bed. I must have fallen asleep crying at the foot of the dining table. My swollen eyes met his, I looked at the cut on his head. For the second time this evening, I saw that unrecognised look on his face. If I had to guess, I thought it resembled genuine hurt.
Nolan promptly stood up. “Miss Baker, are you alright?”
I nodded. I wasn’t. But I’d have to be if all of this was real. “Are you?”
“Yes, miss. I am.” Stalker said, handing me my phone. “Mr Waters called you. He wanted to tell you he knew your birthday from an earlier Google search and whether that information meant that you won’t invite him to your actual party.”
“You spoke to him?” I sat up against the solid headboard.
“Yes, Miss Baker.”
“You answered my private call?” I said, curiously. Stalker had never answered a call on my phone. Not even when father was the one calling.
“Yes, Miss Baker.”
“Why?” I wanted to know why Mr Nolan Stalker, who never invaded my privacy more than he needed to, answered my phone.
“You were asleep and I didn’t want for you to be disturbed.” He lied. He had never come up with a more ridiculous excuse. He was good at lying. But I could tell. Nolan Stalker was incredible at compartmentalising everything. And his white lies made it that much easier for him to continue his charade of whatever this was. But he wasn’t fooling me. He was hiding something. I couldn’t figure it out, this time. But I would, eventually.
I laughed sarcastically. “Fine. Don’t tell me. I have a feeling it’s because I said his name at grace and you were jealous.” I teased. It wasn’t. Nolan didn’t see me as anything more than a job. As imaginative as I was, he was just that much more robotic. “Declan Handsome Waters has invited me on a date tomorrow.”
Nolan cleared his throat. “Do you need anything, Miss Baker?”
“Yes. What shall I wear? Something that reveals everything?” I pushed my covers off and pressed my breasts together.
Nolan sighed, looking away. “That isn’t within my remit, Miss Baker.”
“Sure it is.” I dragged myself off the bed and placed my palms flat on his stiff pecs. “You know what I look like in all my clothes, Mr Stalker. It’s only fair I get a real man’s opinion when I’m trying to dress sexy for a date.”
Nolan knew I didn’t have confidence. I felt ashamed of what my figure looked like in anything I owned. It wasn’t like I was slim and trim. But I didn’t have reservations with him. I felt safe. Whether he internally judged me or not – and I suspect not – Nolan never made me feel anything less than pretty. “You’ll look great in anything, Miss Baker.” Nolan made his way to the door. “Should you require anything, please let me know. Good night, Miss Baker.” Nolan said, closing the door behind him.